Today's missive will be brief but decisive. It's time to list out the weekly enemies of the state. These are individuals whom I'm never met other then maybe passing them by on the street or subway. Even though I don't know these people, I'm almost positive they are all horrible individuals.
1) Guys who wear pleated khaki slacks - Stop dressing like the lonliest child molester.
2) People who smoke cigars at lunch time - while you may have the same girth, you my friend are NOT Tony Soprano.
3) People who brush their teeth in the bathroom at work - you aren't clean, you're just the asshole with a brush and toothpaste at his desk.
4) Girl's who spell out OMG like "OH EMM GEE" - These girls need to immediately contract bird AIDS.
5) Guys over the age of 25 who still wear their college graduation ring - so did they teach you do be a douche at nondescript Ivy League school?
6) People who talk about how "big" they've gotten because of boxing - you know what's gotten big? My urge to choke you out.
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