The Eddie Munster Syndrome

  

This could be your grandmother

Scientists in Sweden at the Hair Restorative Institutive for Hair have been long at work researching a new phenomenon in women’s menopause.  This new phenomenon has been termed the “Eddie Munster Syndrome” after the namesake character in “The Munsters.”  “We really believe this is at the fore-front of research” claims lead scientist Dr. Alf Reedlson, “We saw a pattern in menopausal women that caused us to really dedicate our resources to finding out what was happening and why.”

            The coined condition, “Eddie Munster Syndrome”, refers to the particular phenomena occurring in women’s hair around the time of menopause.  As the scientists detail it, the hair follicles begin to shorten.  As the follicles shorten, they also become compact and the hair style reshapes itself into an androgynous bob resembling that of the Eddie Munster character.  Scientists believe this is caused by a defective enzyme found on the 9^th coding of the X chromosome.  Over time, this enzyme becomes corrupt and starts flooding the hair receptacles with foreign messages.  “We’ve studied menopausal women and we found a major occurrence of this enzyme in the body usually clashing with other enzymes and being an overall nuisance,” stated Dr. Reedlson.  While the research has not found any negative overall health impacts, there is the fear that old women will start to resemble old transvestites with afros.

            Asked to comment on any possible cures, Dr. Reedlson let out a depressed sigh.  “Unfortunately, we don’t think there can be any cure for this.  We feel at this time that the resources needed to find a cure would far outweigh any of the benefits.  The world will just have to learn to be tolerant of those females with Eddie Munster hair.”

*Note: This article originally appears in Fake Medical Journal Monthly.